Even if there is no outcome, I still want to try again.

My name is Diljar, but everyone calls me Bill. I have been training in the circus for 13 years. The main act is called "Pole Swinging." I play the role of the "base" in this act.

In 2017, when I was 21 years old, my three brothers and I participated in the Monte Carlo Circus Festival. This required us to perform difficult tricks, such as spinning 1080 degrees, double flips and other challenging tricks. We won a gold medal in the competition. There were over 2,000 spectators at the event, and professional judges. They all stood up and applauded us, welcoming us with joy.

After the competition, I was interviewed. I remember saying the following at that time: "This time we earned a gold medal in the youth category. If I have the opportunity, I will definitely return to Monte Carlo and win the adult award, the 'Golden Clown.'

6 years have passed since that event and I have become the oldest in the group. I know that at my age, it is unrealistic to aim for the 'Golden Clown' award, but I still dream of winning an international gold medal before I turn 30 and dedicating it to Xinjiang. But the reality seems harsh. Out of the three brothers with whom we trained together, two have already left the group, and the girl I now work with, her name is Nurziya. She was born in 2001. This marks the first time for a girl to train in pole swinging at the circus in Xinjiang.

A change in partners means discarding 12 years of development. A type of chemistry that allows you to communicate through a simple glance. We need to start all over again. Pole swinging is a project where the "base" dances in the air while the "flyer" spins on top. Only through daily training and developing an "instinctive" understanding between them can we guarantee a flawless performance on stage. I am not confident in her.

Girls who practice acrobatics mainly rely on flexibility, but I want to train Nurziya's endurance, especially core strength and muscle control so that she can overcome her limits again and again. Nurziya only recently started the "Pole Swinging" program, and as someone who has seen her grow up, I am quite strict and demanding of her. I don't want her to repeat the mistakes that I made.

Soon, I performed together with Nurziya. Before the performance, I comforted her: "Don't worry, just try your best."

After the performance, Nurziya reflects: "This is my first pole swinging performance in Xinjiang. I want to showcase all of my hard work through my performance and put on a show for the audience in Xinjiang. So far, I haven't participated in any major competitions, so, I also want to win some awards. The lights and the applause of the audience. All the hardships are worth it."